IBUAFC - Gunez Corner

A word from Gunez - 9 May 2009

2009-05-09T11:54:00.001+12:00

Kia ora folks and welcome back to Shark Park. A great start to the season field surface wise. Some may offer that the fields have been a tad too hard, as several grass burns and impact injuries would attest to. - AWFUG included!

In newsflash of the week, there is a new award up for grabs this year, the Golden Fin. This award will be bestowed upon the IBUAFC club member who scores the most goals this season. Under 19 and summer league seasons will however not count, maybe in years to come!

The current leader is Paul Hodder from the Capital 11 JJ's. Paul is banging them into the ol' onion bag and has 8 goals in 4 games for the team, reportedly including a mazy run from halfway!

We welcome all visiting teams to the south coast today in the senior grades, Naenae for the first time in many years to play the Champs Premier co league leaders.

Last column the wishes were for a reasonable start to the season weather wise, this has been granted, and indeed the action across the top 4 leagues in the city has been exciting, with several changes in the early league lead across these grades.

Attribute the good pitches across the city to this, although Karori Park #1 was already turning into Karori Swamp, part #2, last week! Haha.

With no Central League for Wellington women in 2009, player transfers, injuries and retirements have seen the established status quo of clubs at the top of the league change somewhat in the women's Premier League. Having seen 3 games already there is more quality than in the men's competition at times, composure on the ball, playing it out from the back, cracker goals and good interplay from both teams in each game. Good to see!

In Division one the IBUAFC women's 1st team have had a great start to the year, conceding just two goals in 5 games for 3 wins and 2 draws, the ladies sit 1st equal with Tawa. Whilst further down in Division 4 the IBUAFC ladies 2nd team has had 3 draws and 2 losses and currently sit in 6th place. Kate and Co in the women's second team may have had a mixed start to the season result wise, but it is great to see good numbers at their trainings and the team having fun.

Well done all Sharkette's!

On the local front, the 1st team has had a pretty good start to the season again,
and currently lie in 1st equal place with Tawa’s loss to Stop Out resulting in the
latter team leading the Capital Premier standings heading into game week 6 on goal differential.

Tawa now has two losses, and with Stop Out losing to the Sharks and subsequently the Sharks being netted out in the Whitby suburbs by Wilson Suburbs, the Capital Premier League is shaping up as a doozy. It goes to show all teams need to turn up with their game faces on, because all it takes is a few moments of brilliance (or red haired brain explosions!) and a team can be right back in the game, or out of the game!!

In Capital One, Merrick's motley mob will play in mid table action versus table
topping Marist down here at Wakefield Park, with Mezzos' men (lads, and in Dave Wiggins' case, granddad!) hoping to put the wind up the green and whites of Kilbirnie Park and get the 3 points. Good luck lads.

Rusty's rabble also kit up at Shark Park this weekend versus Lower Hutt City. The Academy/3rd team has had a mixed start to the season, but the lads train hard, Rusty rants and raves, and somewhere, a little girl waits. Good to see many youth players in this team, time for them to really step up now and deliver consistently on the field. Challenge is there, go deliver guys.

A quick wrap around of the grades see's Island Bay United in Division 5 in 2nd place, Island Bay Massey in 6th in this ten team league. Island Bay JJ's sit 3rd in
Capital 11 (thanks to Paul!) and in what is a world first, the Vauxhalls are struggling for breath (that's not the world 1st!) as vertigo kicks in, they sit 1st equal in Capital 15, well done. For those who may not know, it is illegal to train, or warm up for the Vauxhalls, if one does not score during the season 10 jugs @ the club prize giving is the fine, as is the fine for penalty misses! More pressure than 1st team!!

Finally, of what is of most interest however it's what's happening overseas, England overseas to be precise.

As Champions of the League Championship, Wolverhampton Wanderers will enter the Barclays Premiership next season as the first automatic promotion. Alongside Wolves in automatic promotion will be the blue shirts of Birmingham City. To those astute readers, they may recall last seasons' 1st team coach Dean “I'm City til I die” Holmes was an ardent Birmingham City supporter. Straight back down…..

So, who are these two teams, plus the winner of the play-off race going to replace? AWFUG feels it may be Reading (the club!). You heard it here first admirable readers, but the current bottom three of West Bromwich Albion, Middlesborough and yes, Newcastle United will go down. The Geordies play 'borough this weekend in a do or die clash for both teams, sadly, not even Alan Shearer can save what is a disaster season for the black and whites.

However, miracles can, do and often occur at this level in sport. Being frank (not Paul) Newcastle hasn't earned the right to stay up this season. Both on and off the field Mickey Mouse behaviour has ensued, and their owner resembles Jabba the Hutt. The removal of both S Allardyce and K Keegan will be the death knell for this mighty footballing city. Shame really. Middlesborough just haven't scored enough goals. End of story. Doubters need just cast a glance at the Premier League table with For and Against stats to see 25 to the good and 51 to the bad means relegation. Seeya Southey!!

West Bromwich Albion are a well respected and as recently seen on TV, a financially well run club, just without the big bikkie money backing of many of the clubs who sit above them in the table. They have just been woeful defensively, and some of the goals conceded this season have been as awful as the bad looks of Ray Parlour, Martin Keown, Ed de Gooey and Craig Gardner (current @ Asstonne Villa) combined.

That’s bad. Still, AWFUG liked the West Bromwich spirit.

That's not to say some clubs haven’t succeeded without the largesse's afforded by Chelsea, Liverpool, Tottenham and Manchester City & United.

Go Everton & Wigan! By and large these clubs are financially prudent, have good managers and players and enjoy great support from the terraces, people turn up week in week out. And that’s where we end this week folks, good luck to all IBUAFC teams this weekend, we will be back either online www.ibuafc.org.nz (order your merchandise!) or in print for next week’s epic clash versus the rangers of Miramar, likely minus AWFUG on the field! We will see you in the clubrooms after the games.

Shark Attack!

A Word From Gunez - 11 April 09

2009-04-11T14:26:00.003+12:00

Tena koe folks and welcome back to Shark Park for the 2009 football season!

Our South Coast base of operations (Wakefield Park) is good to go and is looking the best it has in April for many years, the players have had a round of games across the divisions last week and for the three top IBUAFC teams, three results in the favour of the lads was a good start to what has been a top pre-season build up.

As per the norm over the years, no other mug has put their hand up to write, so the readers favourite 'A word from GUNEZ' (AWFUG) will be gracing either the programme or the club Website this year. Kia ora to all the supporters and friends of the club whether are you living locally, in greater Wellington, out of town, in a cardboard box or overseas, men women and kids, young and old, yo. Our international audience can keep up to date via the website (plug) with what's happening at the club, around the traps of local football and key international happenings in our game. Oh it's just awesome to be back in footy season!

For the record, and to inform new readers, AWFUG is tongue and cheek: most of the time, with the odd round of more serious business thrown in for good measure. No one other than Jody takes it seriously anyway. People's names will appear with common nicknames also added in, these names acquired over the years for some, and for those without one, well we made one up for you. Like Carl 'Van der Muesli Bar' van der Meulen, or Edward 'Gooseterbarn' Oosterbaan, heh :)

Jody has asked for many an autograph, his reverence of AWFUG is huge, massive, and tremendous, like Manu Vatuvai. Indeed Jody reminds the humble observer of the stalker ass off Flight of the Conchords. Their biggest Fan, Hahahaha. Can of Fanta anyone? Just ask the Ginger Ninja, he has plenty. For those unaware, Mike 'Gravity' Gaeta has moved on from the club Presidency. Thanks Mike for your dedication, leadership and involvement in community sport. On behalf of those in the community who gained benefit from the combined efforts of the Gaeta extended family, choice one, thanks and we wish you well in your future endeavours. No doubt we will see you all return when ready, and especially so as a round or two of your kids carry on their way through the junior ranks at the club.

Into the breach steps none other than (Sir) Paul Muollo (SPM), yes the editor in chief of the programme for many years, the ex-mulleted warrior from the South Coast & man with nearly 400 1st team league games for the club (not including Chatham Cup!), yes he of little word and gifted left foot has entered where few dare tread. Good luck Paul, Lisa and the team of volunteers.

So the team has got the club set up, teams organised, gear sorted and everyone is off to play. Without the legion of parental help at junior level coaching teams, managing teams, cleaning kit, officiating, being grade co-ordinators, transporting etc then things really wouldn't be what they are, which is a really well run and popular junior club, so thanks.

To the senior club members organising teams this year and playing, we hope to see you in the clubrooms on a regular basis, and have team members keen to join the players Island Bay United committee. Any persons keen on joining that then please see someone who looks like they know what they are doing, don't come looking over here!

So it's football time, or so we hope.....
Rain.... rain.... go away......
Rain strategically during the week, we just wanna play! Let's just hope, wish, pray or whatever your means of influence are with the powers that be, for all concerned, that we get a reasonable season weather wise in 2009.
Last year was Mickey Mouse, at best, out of our control was the weather (notwithstanding the human effect on accelerated Climate Change for those eco-readers who will email to hit AWFUG up about that).

The fields were shocking at times, mud was everywhere and kudos to all those who stuck through it. Not Mike 'Moose-o' Musso, who reportedly got stuck in it....
The sceptics say it unlikely for us to have a regular season weather wise and with our friend Climate Change comes variant weather patterns, and with the huge demand for grass field sport surfaces during the winter months, well, you know the story. So AWFUG says let's think positive, game on, let's go!

George Aranyi & Tony Volpicelli (TV), Merrick Keenan (Mezz) and Russell Cotton (Rusty) are running the senior 1st, 2nd and Academy sides this year. Carl van der Meulen (Muesli Bar) has been facilitating twice weekly goalkeeper trainings.

Trainings have been well organised, enjoyable, competitive and at times quite tough for those who indulged in too many of nana's Christmas mince pies, or dad's home brew.

Many of the lads went out to the Shark Camp up the Kapiti Coast and the atmosphere and desire within the group has been the best for some years, good to see.
Many of the players who are either within or have been part of the U19 system in the past 5-6 years are also putting their hands up, which is encouraging. The standard is rising technically and with a good coaching set-up, the channels are there for these players to make a mark at 1st team level.

Sustainability in our playing ranks looking forward will most likely come from engagement of young footballers from the southern suburbs, who are keen to get involved, train hard and set their own standards high. Fortune favours the brave

The senior squad have had the unique experience this pre-season in having two of the U17 NZ Women's team rising stars Yumi Nguyen and Renee Leota attend regular Tuesday trainings alongside their Karori Women's 1st team team-mate Noel Cameron. All three have trained really well, added quality and are keen as mustard to get stuck in. Kudos goes to the coaching staff for having the vision and foresight to incorporate the girls into the wider training group.

Ideally we need volunteer support from the community to help the IBUAFC women's teams get the support needed to build up a great sporting environment which will help attract more experienced players, young internationals & representative players such as this to our female teams to bolster the current playing ranks. So if you are keen to get involved, go see SPM!

We welcome today all guest teams to Shark Park and the clubrooms. In particular we welcome the Wairarapa United 2nd team who will line up against Rusty's motley mob, Guy Smith and his baby faced 2nd team of assassins from Petone who will line up against Mezza's 2nd team and we welcome the 2nd team from Lower Hutt who play the Champs Premier 1st team. Good luck to you all, here's to some good games of football. Although we do want Island Bay victories!

Finally folks we digress from the topic of our hallowed sport, to one of more sedately and summery nature. Cheers to those senior squad players (Steelo, Plow, Nick, Jody, Andy, Luciano, Matty Head, Karl the Irish & others) who helped get the playing kits & tracksuits organised alongside the committee the other weekend; your work made a 20 hour job a 10 hour one, choice.

Surely the highlight of this experience though was the last 5 overs of the 8 year olds playing cricket outside. This was dead serious stuff readers, life or death. The last blimmin game of the season! Reputations in 8 year old world are important ya know. What follows is a true story summarised into 3 paragraphs: parents, players and the Shark Park 'Barmy Army' all bear witness to....
With 5 overs to go and needing about 40 runs to win, with the shark park hung-over version of the 'Barmy Army' cheering them on from the clubrooms, a lively Basin Reserve embankment atmosphere ensued for 20 minutes. The players were feeding off the crowd, and ran at every opportunity; Matty Head providing expert commentary, accurately describing every blow of the action, AWFUG was in stitches. Oh for the camera, You Tube would have been revolutionised....
Basically, after 18 minutes of non-stop cricket action, blistering cover drives going for a single (they couldn't hit the hard ball hard enough!), five runs were needed off the last ball. The bowler (cheered on with a whistle from a team kit bag, hand clapping from the 'Army', chanting and the 'ooooooooerrrrrrr' in full swing as he ran up), bowled a beauty delivery, the batsman was in all sorts of bother......
The ball was however hit for a single > the batters ran, overthrow, they ran again, overthrow, everyone was yelling, they ran again, > mis-field, can you believe it, they run, and then blow me down > another mis-field. In the panic that ensued (and prompted by the lads) they set off on the 5th run.

We kid you not. Then... from no-where.... a rather portly lad (for an 8 year old), a fan of sugary treats, a hybrid cross of Jesse Ryder and Jonty Rhodes, threw the wickets down off that final mis-field with a spin and turn throw of epic proportions. No one knew what was happening. Out! Scores tied. Sport is just brilliant and surely the greatest cricketing moment in Shark Park history......

Well, have fun and good luck to all people playing football this weekend, catch you in the clubrooms afterwards where the campaign for re-instatement of the bacon burgers will resume, led by future bucket-arse and hard head Josh 'Lomu' Notman, hardest man since Buck Shelford to play sport say some, Shark Attack!

GUNEZ

A Word From Gunez - 12 July 08

2008-07-12T00:01:00.001+12:00

Kia ora all and welcome back to Shark Park for this weekends senior games which pit La Bella Italia IBUAFC against Miramar Rangers 2nd XI in the Capital Premier fixture whilst the IBUAFC reserve team play a key fixture in Capital 2 versus another team who like to, and can, knock the ball about in the Waterside Karori 3rd team.

This week's instalment of A Word from Gunez (AWFUG) is brought to you by the letter S and the number 4. S for shark park time folks and 4 for the number of goals it would be nice to score this weekend. As always we bring some light hearted banter at the senior lads and various others' expense, this week we highlight the MULLET of Josh 'Lomu' Notman.

It's just friggin awesome!! Looking at the older players (JB, Dave Wiggins, The Masters and Ferruccio's motley Mob) of our club glimpse his way in retro angst-envy at its Lomu mullet-ness and the modern modification tapered in to give it that 2008 cutting edge only possible thanks to the emo generation of upside down mop haircuts is absolutely hilarious, and sensational.

This great hair piece is complemented in turn by Giuseppe with his Gianluca Vialli hair style (Vialli you will remember had the polished baldy dome, only Italians make this classy) and 'Seppe is mentored by the guy with the rare yet sensational Italian Afro Mike (Moose-o) Musso. His hair is just ginormous and has been likened to a Jewish Afro; similar to one BORAT would grow. Mint!

With the exciting games on show this weekend it is, well, pretty exciting stuff really. This is what football is all about; the hard work at training has enabled the top three IBUAFC sides to get out there and shark attack the net on frequent occasion so far this season, already an impressive 97 goals combined from 37 games. This has allowed the lads to be competitive week in and week out, pretty much all Deano, George and Rusty can ask for really. All is spiky in Kina world.

So lets hope this kudos doesn't jinx the lads this weekend and with this weekends' opposition, we have two opponents to respect yet beat through hard work and an attitude to playing good footy in the process.

Last week, Rod Knee Varga slammed in a late penalty versus Wairarapa to give the first team a lifeline, then an even later into the game penalty saw the milkman, milky, two milks, steve-ooooo remain as cool as, well Scott Styris his twin albino brother and slot home the equalising goal, yeyeah!!! Nice work under pressure fellow sharks, and good fighting spirit shown by all players as well.

It was good to see a large crowd @ Shark Park and the lads didn't let them down effort wise against a Wairarapa team who were very sharp, quick and unpredictable in attack. The flair Rabo and Seulemon provide for Wairarapa is challenging and good to play against, indeed the Polynesian and Melanesian style of football is one AWFUG feels we need to learn from and intermingle with the other qualities that make athletes from Aotearoa good at sport.

With Lai and Petero donning the Shark Shirt for us, we have also the chance to experience the skill and strength that accompanies the flair in our little south coast community, this is cool. Watching other Pacific Island players such as Benjamin Totori and Alex Maemae you can see why these guys (and girls) have heaps to offer footy in Aotearoa.

We progress to Euro 2008. A fantastic tournament with deserved winners and most teams endeavouring to play an exciting brand of football ala Spain, Netherlands, Turkey (*cough cough* Dave Plowright), Russia, Croatia and dare it be said the Germans who AWFUG feels created a lot of chances, were involved in some good games and played at times some great football. Or soccerrrrrr as our Yankee Doodle cohorts like to call it.

A rare confession and a correction for a typing Goose (moose, Bruce? No, MOOSE-OOOO), an apology goes to Mr. Cruz who it was said last AWFUG issue missed a hat load of chances. It was in fact Mr. Gomez from Germany. Mare, who writes this article fit for reading while on the bog eh!?

The hairs may not be full mullet material these days, but the warhorse (sea-warhorse) and our editor in chief and all round superhero Paul Muollo fired up the other week. For those who may be unaware, for the guy with 360+ 1st team appearances is not one to rise his voice is about as common as All Black World Cup wins.

AWFUG has no idea what this was about actually, but a rumour has it that when Petero stole his party trick and ripped out a mean bicycle kick last week Muollo was gutted as he wanted to show all why he still rules the south coast. Probably the biggest roar at Shark Park in seasons came post that overhead kick!

Actually no, that honour was reserved for the naked run of none other than the bays favourite can of Fanta pants, the ginga ninja some years back. Apparently doing a helicopter and hanging upside down like batman on the cross bar at midnight is awesome fun!! Hey whatever rocks your boat!

Shout out to one of our international readers, 2006 reserve squad player of the year Marty Montague Junior, good to see you cuz and safe travels. Also a speedy recovery to past IBUAFC footballer Illya McLennan, who climbed a tree at his mates' house, fell off and broke his back, bad buzz. In typical Illya fashion AWFUG reveals he has written a story on Spacebook about how, when he can move again freely, he will get his can of gasoline and burn the tree in a ritual ceremony. Heh, some things never change eh!

Remember it is nearing the end of the season, don't forget to have a night or two down at the clubrooms and have a quiet think on if you can spend 3-4 hours, 3-4 times next year and volunteer in some capacity at our club. If you have idea's for functions or whatever, see Lisa (Gibbon, I mean Gibbo) or either of Sammy boy Hooper or Sonya especially the younger lads at the club who wanna party and socialise, fair enough too! Kudos to Sand-shark Sandy Pawson for organising IBUAFC Hoodies.

Good luck to all IBUAFC teams playing this weekend, the women's 1st team have a tough away clash against North Wellington away this weekend, go girls! Can Rusty's crew win again, will the 2 teams in Capital 9 win and leap up the table, and in Capital 13 will the Piglets and Vauxhalls play and win ala Spain this weekend? All will be revealed folks after 90 minutes so get out there and have some fun, go hard and see you in the clubrooms afterwards.

Peace
GUNEZ

A Word From Gunez - 21 June 08

2008-06-21T09:00:00.002+12:00

Kia Ora readers and welcome back to Shark Park for today's Champs Sports Capital Premier game between La Bella Italia IBUAFC Shark Attack and the might of Marist who we suspect may be glad to get away from Kilbirnie Park for a week or two. Greetings and I extend a warm welcome to Brian and the Marist squad for today’s fixture. Welcome back also to Jordan 'fluffy' Morris.

Whilst we all know the infamy of the Wakefield Park bobble, the same bobble exacerbated horribly by the wind and rain at times, Kilbirnie Park at the moment rivals ours for difficulty come this time of year. Oh yes folks it can be a tough afternoon’s work in the office out there some days I tell you.

Well, last Saturday on the way to my game versus Seatoun, we passed Kilbirnie Park where I witnessed a bobble reminiscent of a Shane Warne wrong-un, and the player air swiped it, masterfully, it was almost class, almost. Laugh out loud I did. Let's hope Wakefield Park holds up well for today's clash, in what should be an attacking and entertaining game.

Time is pressing, so we progress to more significant events at hand. These events are the matches of Euro 2008, where 16 European heavy, middle and lightweight nations battle it out for the most coveted international footballing trophy after the World Cup.

The calibre of some of the play so far has been remarkable, I am glowing in praise. This said, not all teams mind you have been up to the task, France and the Czech Republic spring to mind; still, the overall quality is very good.

The players are super fit and fast, very skilful and well organised by a whose who of European Football coaching talent. At the time of writing, the following teams are about to clash in the quarter finals: Portugal vs. Germany, Croatia vs. Turkey, Netherlands vs. Russia or Sweden and Spain vs. Italy.

My hunch is that there could be one or two games where the goals flow. The goals-per-game ratio is up there, especially in recent major tournaments which is a good sign heading into playoff time!

Some of the goals been crackers, several Dutch, Turkish and Michael Ballacks recent free-kick strike for the Germans are examples of wonder goals. There have been some strikes that would make JB as proud as a liver-puddlian, Ryan DP roar like a rowdy rhino, Stu H fall asleep in the toilets, Lee W to laugh like a Hyena, leave Gravity Gaeta gushing, Sir Paul Muollo melting like a marsh-mellow, Russell 'uffin luvin iiitttt and the ginger ninja to drink......... a can of Fanta.

And goals are what make the game of football cool. Combine the goal action with skill, flair, hard work and passion, sit back on the couch with a bag of popcorn, and enjoy the show folks.

I have noticed several goals scored from just outside the penalty area by a late runner into the box, often given that yard of space by the forwards crashing through for what normally is a cross into the near post or 2nd six-yard box. Usually this goal is a quality strike, spectacular even.

This play has also seen some scrappy ball also fall into the six yard box for tap in goals with shins, knees, the sole of the foot and more used to score many goals this tournament!

The Dutch are understandably current odds on favourite, however I feel the criticism of Germany is somewhat un-warranted and I feel they will test the Portuguese more than some think they will. The striker Cruz who misses too many chances could have easily had 5 goals in the loss to Croatia were he not to choke like Greg Norman or a possum in the headlights. Possums make great Shark bait apparently, might try it in the summer actually.....

The goalkeepers have been sound for the most, with several making a name for themselves, or enhancing their Mana, such as Gigi Buffon in his penalty save to keep the eye-talian contingent in Island Bay forever hopeful of a repeat recent tournament win. However I feel Peter Cech would rather forget his Euro 2008 experience, the Czech's got mated, the Swiss ran out of army knives when Frei walked off crying in the first game, the French were sticks, not able to hop into the next round.

The ball used this tournament dead set deviates. Look at the Van Persie and Robben goals, Ballack free kick, Ibra-him-mo-vember-itch of Sweden too saw the ball move literally up and down in flight. No chance for the 'keepers here sorry, alas not even Plowright could save these shots dear readers.

Well, unless Plow used his G.I. Joe haircuts' aerodynamically shaped wind parting features to accelerate his diving flight path when making a save to one of these Euro 2008 shots, he has no show.

I nearly forgot... the G.I Joe hair-fro look combined with his go-go-gadget elongated neck and arm powers (similar to roadrunner Steelo's go-go-gadget arms and legs) should allow him to stretch that inch or two more, and give him a sporting chance of getting near the ball.

Several injuries have blighted area's of the Euro's, with wingers in particular suffering in this department. Ryan Babel of the Nether-region-lands was ruled out pre tourney, and Arjen Robben has a few niggles. One of my favourite players, Christian Wilhelmsson of Sweden is out. This is bad, I want Sweden to go through, Sweden play good footy and have super hot yellow clad female fans. I have however Russia in the office sweepstake, so by the time you read this I will win either way, this game for me is a winner!

I predict the Dutch, Portuguese or Spanish supporters to be the happiest in a few weeks time. Good luck to all teams playing this weekend, cheers to all the IBUAFC volunteers for your efforts, this week is Volunteer week. May the net bulge frequently for your team this weekend, Shark Attack!!!

GUNEZ

A Word From Gunez - 07 June 08

2008-06-06T12:00:00.002+12:00

Kia Ora, haere mai and welcome back to Shark Park folks, well as you the reader well know there comes a point and time in life when, not even I can withstand the wrath and fire of both (Sir) Paul Muollo and Rodney (Rodknee) Varga as they hunt and pursue me to all ends of Wellington to ensure, you the reader get an instalment of A Word From GUNEZ (AWFUG). Let's get cracking.

Never one not to take the Mickey out of others without dig at myself, its fair to say that, had I scored half the chances I've had up front this year then I think the 2nd team would be well on top goal difference wise rather than a few behind wharfies as we currently are. Although I do remember a certain ginga ninja pulling out a Kanu on Saturday and missing one easier to score!

Hot topic of the week is in fact the weather. Indeed we all know the joke about the boggy fields, wet weather, lack of outdoor training time, field overuse syndrome. Other jokes include bad tackle on wet ground induced injury syndrome as well as mid season-itis. Fair to say an article on each would do well to grace the fabled AWFUG column.

So we diverge to discuss the precipitation impact on our fine city. Luciano Collucci injured after impersonating Michael Witt from the Warriors, air kicking the ball and pulls his hammy. He joins a list of others who have unfortunately been injured on the less than ideal surfaces facing winter sport and, subsequently become gammy. Back in the clubrooms, Dave Rutherford, Rusty and E.T. have a can of Fanta, watch the horses with Benn the gambler and munch a toasted sammie. Rusty recalls Copenhagen '72 and the advert tells us that still, a little child waits.......

Been waiting a while, I reckon he'd be about 16 by now.

Last Saturday, blessed with a 2-30pm kickoff time, I cycled down to Shark Park at 9am to see how the Player Development Programme (PDP, 5-7yrs) was shaping up. The 12+ teams of 10 players were roaring round the mini fields, kitted out in various famous football teams such as A.C. Milan, Chelsea, Brazil, Portugal, Arsenal, Juventus and more! Carl Van der Meulen and the PDP coaches are doing a terrific job, I even saw T.V and Mike Musso (Moose-o) running a team, good one guys. The skill level was high and plenty of goals.

Several of the senior grade players are involved coaching junior teams this season, top work and I encourage more of you to take this opportunity up as the kids need the experience, knowledge and passion that you, yes you, have to complement the parent and volunteer base already in place. Not just here but in all clubs and all sport.

In other news, the eye-talien foursome Carlo, Giuseppe, Elenio and Moose-o went out Paua poaching at Red Rocks recently. The lads were unaware Bruno (the Great White Shark from Kapiti Island, Yes the actual oft seen 5m beast folks had made a trip down the coastline to feast on the local seal population.

Outraged at the seal carnage unfolding, Moose-o went out with his spear gun and Paua knife to save his kindred, only to be snatched from the Bruno jaws of death by Elenio, with Carlo urging for a swift recovery as he was eager to watch himself star in the next instalment of The Family Guy. Giggity-giggity....

Interestingly, more now than ever we have a fair mix of nationalities amongst the players at all levels of our football club and I warmly welcome Lai and Petero from Fiji, both recent international footballers, to 1st team level to the club. Bula Vinaka.

With a spring in the stride AWFUG now happily reports of our first international fans, readers through the website. Oh I could gush on this rather glorious moment for pages. Hello to both of you.

Don't forget Under 19 season is soon approaching, and as always the club is keen to hear and try out suitable players from around all the southern suburbs, what to bring is a good attitude and decent technical and physical abilities. We now boast a plethora of footballers through the top 3 XI's with Island Bay U19 links, and it is good to see some really stepping up and making an impact.

I would like to take this moment to acknowledge Benn "the gambler" Florance, Luciano "Luch" Collucci, Rich "the roadrunner" Steel, Yorick "the fish" Canales, Dave "I am on the Phoenix forum all day" Plowright, Carlo "Soprano" Petagna, Felix "the cat" Wenzel, Dominic "I love emo music" Scott, Peter "mama mia" Elenio, Josh "Lomu" Notman, Matt "Whippet-burn" Whitburn, James "Badger" Bennet, "kick-flip" Ollie Davey, Sandy "Sand Shark" Pawson, Jerry "mouthgard Van Lier" and Tim "here's to you mrs" Robinson in particular as fine examples of lads who have come through the U19 system in recent years and are making a difference on and off the field. There are some very good players coming through behind these guys including age-grade NZ international players who will keep everyone on their toes at training as the year's progress. The club must continue to work stridently to ensure it can retain these players and offer them high level football.

Finally, don't forget to make the effort to come on down tonight to the clubrooms from 7pm as Louis and his band play a few tunes. All the best to all teams this weekend, lets hope the net bulges, don't forget the Shark Attack salute and see you tonight.

Cheers
GUNEZ.

Shark Attack!

A Word From Gunez - 19 April 08

2008-04-19T16:50:00.004+12:00

Welcome back to Shark Park everyone, greetings to Kapiti Coast United and Stop Out who arrive for the main games of the day.

One of the great things about living in the bay is bumping into your mates and people you know around the traps. We start today's monologue at Island Bay New World. My brother pulled a me last Monday when we went shopping, and forgot to get something, so in he pops again, so I wait outside. Twiddling my thumbs.

So there I was, busting a yarn with ex IBUAFC shark Anton De Gregorio when along pops one of our oldest friends, Leo Bertos. Holy shark fin soup it was great to see him, the last time being a dinner we held when Perth Glory came over last year, so we quickly organised for him to come and have dinner with us (Stu Dunn, Natalie and my brother Grant gee you knit) on Wednesday night.

Grant was meant to cook, but he decided to leave to visit our father up the coast on Wednesday afternoon, go figure, so it was up to Bertos and myself to source dinner and cook it. True to Island Bay's eyetalian tradition, Spaghetti Bolognese was the order of the night. And may I add I did a very good job. I am biased.

Well, as per usual I was late (last minute guru here folks) to write this weeks instalment of A word from GUNEZ. When our beloved editor, the man with the sleekest mullet ever to grace a human, Paul Muollo advised me it was due Thursday morning, I thought hey why not get a few words from Leo, in what would be a world exclusive first interview in Wellington, just remember you heard it here first folks. After a great evening of banter and food (he ate that much I lost my lunch the next day!) I recalled there was the need to ask him for some pearls of wisdom, so, short on time and with us both in true AWFG style not taking things too seriously here you go, Wellingtons fastest ever football interview, the questions in bold:

So how are you feeling being back home in Wellington, to play football for the Phoenix?
"Ahh". "How can I just answer that in a few words man, that's not fair?" "But yeah, it's so great, I just don't have enough words to describe it"
Which I didn’t foresee when I asked this question, giving him only a couple words per answer, typical me.
And how do you feel doing yet another one of these question and answer interviews
"ha-ha, yeah it's all good you're doing it mate so no worries"
Its great you are staying with family in Island Bay, do you like down this way?
The rather cheeky response was followed by a quick save on his behalf "it's great, real nice area and close to town and training too" Leo saved himself from a $2.50 bus fare straight outta the bay with that save!!
So what's the story with football for you at the present moment?
"I am doing some rehabilitation work at the moment for a hip injury I got whilst at Perth Glory and will join the main squad training in several weeks, there is a long way to go in the season, so it's important to take it day by day, get it right 1st time."
What are your individual and team goals for the season?
"For the team, to qualify for the playoffs and take things from there, individually, well to play a part in ensuring that happens"
And a tip for teenagers aspiring to professional football?
"You need to be committed to being a professional footballer, there are other job options that come up in life, but you must keep focused and work hard at what is required to succeed, I did some real hard yards man."
Favourite restaurant in Wellington?
"Zico"
Best opponents faced, why?
Leo indicates the players we spoke of earlier in the night in a separate conversation. These players were Joe Cole and Jermaine Defoe who were playing for West Ham as he lined up for Barnsley. "Man, these guys were ahead of their time for their age, amazing, doing moves, they had (created) so much time on the ball, it was amazing". After some further reflection Leo states "the most amazing was the Croatian Robert Prosinecki, who was playing for Portsmouth at the time". Actually Leo waxed lyrical about this guy earlier in the night; Prosinecki is regarded as technically the best Croatian footballer of all time. "Also, Kaka was amazing when we played Brazil, but yeah, definitely Prosinecki"
And playing for the All Whites versus Brazil?
"Well I really should have mentioned Cafu to the previous question as well, but you said keep it to a few words" to which I nod. "Yeah he was amazing, I was named at left wing for that game, he was right back, I tell you I played left back for that game, and he right wing!!" Ha, I would have dealt to him no problem buddy.
And will you make it down to watch the Island Bay sharks at all this season?
"Well, if you and Stu are playing, yeah sure why not. Actually I'm keen to keep watching local football, and I am off to Miramar versus Olympic (his old club) on Saturday but yeah sure I will be down during the season."
Cool, cheers bro,
"Sweet, anytime."

So for now, let us Phoenix fans be re-assured that the feeling is good within their camp and Leo is excited to be back playing where it all began for him, catching up with family and old friends and focussing on making a positive impact on the field. His wife Laura will be arriving in a month for her first trip to New Zealand and Leo is eager to show her around our great country. Lining up with the fans on his side this time is something he is really looking forward to, as he said with a laugh "last year they booed every time I touched the ball". I did lament when the conversation turned round to the fact I would have to pay to watch him play this season, to which I received a good deal of stick from him. It's different I argued from paying to watch mates in Team Wellington, in fact it still sits uneasy with me but we did have a good laugh over the matter! Needless to say I will move quickly to buy my season ticket when given the chance!

It is for me, a pleasure to see Leo, Tim Brown, Tony Lochead and Mark Paston who were players I have been lucky enough to play school, rep and senior football with plying their trade as professional footballers in our city. For those out their good enough, the chance is there.

Later in the season we will have a look at the upcoming A League season. Until then I sadly admit Manchester United are and should be Champions of the English League, however Rangers look good for the Scottish title and Team Wellington have the NZFC final this weekend, make sure you tune in to it on T.V. C'mon you lads!

Don’t forget to shark salute all your goals, let the goals flow freely in the attacking column and good luck to all teams this weekend.

Shark Attack!

A Word From Gunez - 5 April 08

2008-04-05T16:43:00.002+13:00

Kia ora everyone, welcome back to Shark Park. It feels like only a year ago since I last wrote that, which actually was the case.

Football matters are swimmingly Sharktastic this year, be an understatement. The signs are there for a bumper year for the bay, and as per usual 'A word from Gunez' or AWFUG (the U makes the acronym better!) to some, will bring you all the action. It is with sadness my biggest critic and fan Alan Ware will no longer regularly grace the halls of our clubrooms this year, I will however send him a copy. For those who may be new readers, this column has a few semi serious points to make, and a fair bit of tongue in cheek. We make a quiet effort to poke fun at Paul Muollo (who is set to make his 2318th appearance for the 1st team this weekend) myself and a few club personalities every now and then. Names with (Gunez) in brackets after them are the nicknames for some of these people for references sake.

To matters at hand, again, and may I add at no surprise to those in the know either, the committee and volunteer base has done an outstanding job preparing the clubrooms,
organising the various game and weekly based duties. Thank you to Miguel Gaeta and 'the family' for again being on fire with the pre-season preparations, organisations, fluctuations of the initiations and all sorts of machinations that are the myriad of tasks needing completion in order to run this, our fine community football club. In addition, the IBUAFC Junior Club has gone through its registrations and trials. With strong numbers across the range of grades with increasing female participation, the season ahead looks bright for the kids. The Oosterbaan family have done wonders again; the junior system is now flourishing and provides an impressive start to those young and new to the game.

Junior grade co-ordinators are all set up to go, and it's cool to hear Edward Oosterbaan (Goosterbaan) has taken up the co-ordination and facilitation of the PDP programme in 2008. Also, other senior team players are coaching and assisting at Junior Level, their experience and volunteer efforts are what will help us to keep lifting the playing and enjoyment levels for junior footballers from the southern suburbs. Dave Graham will be facilitating afternoon training sessions for junior teams in what I feel is a positive, proactive move forward for the junior club program. At senior level, the club was greeted this year by an explosion of players at pre-season, it was great to see. Dean Holmes (Deano) and Steve Davey (Milky) have a strong squad assembled, importantly with attacking and goal-scoring firepower. Combine this with the youth coming through, sprinkle in the experience of the worlds greatest ex-mulleted warrior, and editor in chief of the match day rag Paul Muollo alongside stalwarts Rodney (Rodknee) Varga and Lee Westlake (Westlife), add National League experience in the form of Nate Winkel, as well as Ish, Zachary Lancaster (Bomber) and the 1st team have a highly competitive team. Let's hope the lads can maintain a high standard throughout the season and really challenge for the league title, as with it comes the chance at qualifying for the Central League.

The 2nd team this year will be trained by George and Tony (T.V.). For the uninitiated this stands for television, as Tony loves watching the box. His favourite show, I don’t know. The combined 2nd and 3rd squads have trained hard and well. For me it is great to see the benefits of the U19 system filtering through to senior level, with a significant number of 1st, 2nd and 3rd team players having come through the system in the last 5 years. It is now up to these lads to really work hard technically, tactically and physically to lift the senior club teams to new heights. All the best to everyone involved here.

Russell Cotton has been assisting in pre season training, and will run the 3rd team squad in 2008. Under Russell’s guidance the 3rd team have a big chance of gaining a league victory if they keep up the quality I saw last Saturday in their first league game vs. Marist. Whilst a 1-1 draw, the team will improve its finishing and quality in the final 3rd, it will be a great learning opportunity for the younger lads and everyone involved, good luck.

We have some experience this year, with the evergreens Paul Muollo, Dave Wiggins, Thurl Gibbs and Eddie Tom (who was 17 when I was born, legend) bringing leadership and plenty game to the party. In a fairytale story, Dave’s stepson Cameron Lidstone (an Island Bay junior and NZ age grade rep, originally trained by none other than Paul Muollo) was in the Wellington College 1st XI squad that lined up in the Hilton Petone final. Neither team really deserved to lose the Hilton Final I feel and kudos to all the players who played a roll in bringing the team all that way. I’m telling people I tried to miss mine, the ball wobbled and bobbled, hit the post and decided to pop in the goal, much to my ACTUAL relief!

We have plenty of pages to fill in the programme this year, so if you can help find material, footy jokes, pictures, poems (ok not poems) etc, please emerge from your shell like a Galapagos Tortoise and join the show! The more content the better!

Good luck to all Island Bay teams in 2008, the Bay is again healthily represented across a number of senior men’s and women’s teams', let the old onion bag bulge on frequent Shark Attack goal scoring feeding frenzy occasions for you. Stay injury free and don’t forget to make the effort to patronage the clubrooms, with its fine food and flowing range of beverages.

Finally, a warm welcome back to Wakefield Park to Lower Hutt AFC, a club whom impress
me with their dedication to building and developing the sport in their region from Junior level upwards. Both teams will be looking for a maximum point start to the season in what will be a highly competitive league.

Shark Attack!

Welcome to Gunez Corner

2008-03-21T10:50:00.001+13:00

You've been asking for him, so here he is, in all his glory.